Day 12: Vanity Mirror

A few years ago, there was a fad of lists that circulated through the online world that attempted to pinpoint you based on obvious stereotypes, lists like "You know you're ghetto when..." or "You know you're from Idaho when..." As I took the mirror down from my dresser to place it in my lenten outgoing pile, I thought to myself: "You know you're vain when..." I can imagine it, a long list at the bottom of an even longer series of forwarded messages, stuck in my spam box, dying for me to mark it "not junk" so it can be read and quell any growing suspicions that I just might care a little too much. Say it with me: I am not vain. I am not vain. (Is it vain to say that?)

You know you're vain when...

• You own a vanity mirror. (Ouch.)
• You wear makeup when you exercise. (Only if it's already on, I swear!)
• You have more mirrors than you can use. (Umm...)
• You have more photos of yourself on facebook than of your friends. (Phew, that's a no.)
• You turn the radio up loud and dance in front of your full length mirror. (Do they actually expect you to fess up to these things?)
• You buy more produce for facials than for salads. (People really do that?)
• Your computer's background display is a picture of you lifting weights. (That's a no, and 4/7 is still failing right?)

If all the mirrors I already had in my room weren't enough, I went ahead last summer and bought myself this vanity mirror. I thought it would make it easier for me to apply eye liner or to tweeze, but mostly it just makes my pores look really, really big and blinds me with its side lights. So to save myself from diminishing self-worth and permanently dilated pupils, this mirror gets the boot.